For two weeks or so I had the greatest gift I’d ever been given, completely undeserved and in the face of ugliness on my part. For two weeks or so I felt redeemed and hopeful and human, like a citizen.
And then circumstances returned me to the status quo. Zero. My only real emotional response to that is embarrassment.
It is a bit liberating, I suppose, to be freed of a dream once and for all after twenty-six years. I’m not sure what else I can feel about it and keep moving forward at all.
